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The goal should be to leave the conversation with a game plan for moving forward (or not…). Explain how their behavior is hurting you,” says Engle. “Come to your partner with specific examples of the micro-cheating. She adds that the same goes if you’re in a polyamorous relationship and don’t tell your partner about someone new you’re seeing despite having agreed to. “If you have an open relationship where you’re allowed to have sex outside the relationship, but no feelings, having a secret emotional relationship with someone would be a form of mirco-cheating.”

sharing personal details about sexual tastes, kinks, and fantasies with someone who isn’t your partnerĮngle calls out that micro-cheating isn’t exclusive to monogamous relationships.

muting someone or deleting a text exchange so your partner won’t find out you’re chatting.

paying more attention to someone who isn’t your partner than your actual partner at a party.

always replying to a specific person’s Instagram story.

This means that anything from downloading the new dating app Lex “just to check it out!” to playing with a friend’s hair, double-tapping an ex’s Instagram photo, or having regular, ahem, extended lunches with a co-worker could count. Again, it all depends on what things count as cheating in your relationship.